When the historic winter storm of February 2023 decided to drop actual, honest-to-goodness snow onto the palm trees and citrus groves of Redlands, California, the local population reacted with the calm, measured grace of a cat accidentally dropped into a bathtub. For a community accustomed to February temperatures that merely require switching from shorts to slightly heavier shorts, frozen white powder falling from the sky was treated less like weather and more like an alien invasion. Drivers immediately forgot the basic mechanics of internal combustion, treating the I-10 freeway like an existential obstacle course, while grocery store shelves were cleared of bread, milk, and avocados in a desperate bid to survive what was ultimately a few hours of slush.
The coping mechanisms employed by Southern Californians during this meteorological anomaly were nothing short of heroic comedy. Since absolutely nobody in the Inland Empire owns an actual snow shovel, residents could be seen clearing their driveways with flip-flops, plastic dustpans, and the occasional boogie board. Backyard snowmen were hastily constructed, though most ended up looking like sad, muddy piles of shaved ice decorated with leftover street taco wrappers and sunglasses. By midday, the collective panic transitioned into a massive photo-op, as thousands of people stood in their driveways wrapped in every single piece of clothing they owned, taking selfies to prove to future generations that they had successfully braved the Great Redlands Blizzard of 2023.
