Waking up to a majestic desert sunrise cresting over a scenic hillside is normally a spiritual experience, unless your brain is being tenderized by a tequila hangover. As the sun explodes over the ridge with the blinding intensity of a thousand collapsing stars, those glorious, golden rays pierce straight through your retinas and deep into your throbbing skull like cosmic daggers. The peaceful, silent majesty of the vast wilderness only amplifies the agonizingly loud sound of your own heartbeat, while the dry, dusty desert air mocks your parched throat, making you feel exactly like one of the withered, prickly shrubs that surround you. You try to appreciate the raw, untamed beauty of the morning, but you are far too busy squinting like a subterranean mole and regretting every single decision that led you to a place with absolutely zero shade and 100% too much reality.
