Garden Gnomes

My wife’s addiction to garden gnomes began innocently enough with just one cheerful little fellow, but somewhere along the way they started arriving in troops. Now every flower bed seems to have its own tiny resident, and apparently there is always room for one more. I’ve learned there’s little point in asking why we need another garden gnome—the proper question is simply, “Where is this one going to live?”

Apparently one gnome is decoration, two are company, and twenty-seven constitute a small but well-organized municipality. They stand guard among the flowers, supervise the weeds, inspect my gardening efforts, and seem to multiply whenever I’m not looking. I’m no longer entirely certain that we own the gnomes—I suspect the gnomes own the property and simply allow us to live here.